Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Interference

Have you felt illness or other factors (depression, stress, PMS, etc) interfere with your ability to serve as well as you want?

 I have all of those .Depression, panic/anxiety disorders, triggers for my PTSD, most likely bipolar disorder, and a lot of other issues in my head. I have a lot of fears that have to do with socializing, and with trusting people. The first thing I did once Master and I decided to be in a relationship in general was tell him about all these things, and the most likely cause of them.

He knows all the triggers that I know of, he knows what things I want to face, and what things that I will never get over. He knows me, in and out.

How do you handle those times?

 If an episode happens in the middle of whatever we are doing, say a scene we are playing, he will stop immediately, ask me what is wrong, and then decide if we continue or not. If it's because I'm having anxiety about using a new toy, he'll do it slowly until I tell him a full stop.

If it's something simple, and I'm having some emotional breakdown, or coming down hard from a subdrop, he stops immediately and focuses on after care.

If it's an episode that happens just randomly, while we are just hanging out at home, he will make me talk about. Talking through it really does help it go away, and help me focus on the reality of what is going on, not some anxiety or fear that is going through my head.

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