Tuesday, January 10, 2012


I've been in a depressive state that last few weeks. It's been up and down, but it's always been there at least a little bit. I really think I need to get checked out by a doctor, but with no insurance, it's hard to find a place that will do it with a sliding scale.

I feel that I've been putting Master in a hard place. He wants to take care of me, but he can only do so much - most of this depression is not rational. I can't control it. Yesterday, I was fine, and then when the evening came, I was so depressed I just wanted to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I even almost went to bed around 7:30, but Master distracted me.

We talked about jobs I could apply for, talked about our grocery list, looked at our new recipe book we got a week or so ago.

It's still there. And I still feel like a burden to Master.


  1. I know how you feel...Whenever my health is really bad, like it's been the past few months, or when my phobias and issues rear their ugly heads, I always feel like such a burden to my Master...

    Just stay strong, and remember that your Master loves you and cares about you, even when you're depressed and things are awful. From experience, I can tell you you're not a burden, even when you feel like one...<3


  2. I know you're right ;) Just hard to get up out of bed and DO things right now. At least I got up in time to Master's breakfast. We shall see what he says to do this afternoon - I really haven't done any of my chores. *sigh*

  3. Try St. John's Wart. You can get it at any drug store in the herbal section. It's a natural anti-depressant, but it doesn't work for everyone. i actually found out about it from a doctor i was going to. He recommended it because most anti-depressants cause bad mood swings for me.

    i'm not saying it's gonna work. But it's worth a shot if that's something your Master and you choose to try it out. :3

    Lots of love,


  4. Hello, i just came across your blog. I have depression/anxiety as well. It's tough without insurance. There could be a community mental health line to call..which could link you to state-funded/sliding-scale agency for therapy/psychiatrist. I know each state is different though. i know meds aren't for everyone, but if they are an option for you, there are several on the Walmart 4$ list, of course need prescription first.

    Anyway...i know i dont know you...i know how hard mental health issues can be, yes for our partners, but just as much for those struggling. I hope you can find resources where you are. The nami site may have links..