Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Master's Blog; Patience

Master updated his blog: Alpha Chronicles.

Master told me he wasn't sure what he 'wanted' in a second slave. I got upset. I mean, he said to 'go ahead and look', but then is all 'I have no idea what I want you to look for'.

We talked it out, though. Like we always do :)

I am gonna make a 'template' so he knows where to start - I mean, I figured writing down what he likes, dislikes, expects, and doesn't expect with a second slave is a good place, eh?

He said he just didn't know how to 'start', so I am helping him.

Sometimes, I honestly think that I am more 'mature' in this aspect of our relationship, and then I remember that he is still new, and doesn't know 'exactly' what he wants.

Everything is still new to him, and he's figuring out where to start, where to go, and where to stop.

I do love Master, and know we can figure this out.

Patience has 'never' been my virtue, lol.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Pictures; Trust

This picture is from last year - in the summer, I think. I don't think there is any difference in my body ;)

Master and I had a rough time a while there - he is upset that he may not be able to reenlist, and I was not supportive.

Honestly, I have no idea how to be supportive. I can nod my head, and sympathize, but I don't know about support. I don't know what to say, and seeing him upset with himself, makes me upset. When I get upset, I do what I always do - I lash out.

We worked it out, but it still lingers on my mind. I need to learn how to deal with this in a healthy way. If not for myself, for Master.


This picture was from October :)

I've decided I really do want a girlfriend - I'm okay with sharing Master - at least while I am there. Now, where do I look? I suck at the dating thing, and I have no experience with women in that way. Oh well.

Gonna finish breakfast, then do dishes. It's...well, it's bad. XD

Friday, February 17, 2012

Trust

Master and I had a disagreement this morning. We have different views on how to deal with my trust issues.

It's not that I don't trust him. I don't trust anyone. Anyone's words, that is. For example, at work, when they tell me my schedule, I have to look for myself to make sure they told me the right thing. I trust Master to do what he wants with my body, but not with my mind. Weird.

Last night, a person texted Master in the middle of the night. He answered back, but didn't tell me what he answered back with. The issue was that he didn't show me what he said he texted.

I hate feeling like this, but I need visual proof to believe anything, not just with Master.

He thinks by just not telling me things like that, that aren't important, will help my issue. I think that showing me that he has nothing to hide will help my issue.

He did say that he would think about it, so it does help that Master understands and validates my feelings.

We will see what happens...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Master got me my first set of flowers, corset, and a teddy bear EVER :D








Saturday, February 11, 2012

Future Plans

Master has to make the decision to reenlist in the Army Reserves within the next month. If he did do it, he would try to do the full 20 years so he could have a for sure retirement type of thing. I don't know how long the contracts are, though.

The issues we talked about were 1) Getting into shape and 2) Missing out on family things.

1) This would have to be his doing. I can only say so much, but in the end, I can't pick him up and make his body move to do the exercise. He needs to pass the test to be able to move forward.

2) Right now, he doesn't see himself being deployed, so he won't miss out on too much.

He will be gone one weekend a month for drill, and that is hard because he has to take the car, and I have to deal with finding a way to get to and from work

(Which is an issue right now, actually)

I've thought about it, and although I'm anxious about him reenlisting, there are great pros for it. The extra money would be nice, and Master does love serving his country.

The decision is his now. I told him I would support him if he did. I think he will, honestly.

Also, I am looking forward to having a second slave in our family - that would really help if Master was deployed, or had to leave for longer than a weekend.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Sister Slaves

Master made a pretty interesting post over at his blog :) HERE

I've been more and more open to the idea of a 'sister slave' Obviously, it isn't going to happen now. I, personally, thing we need to get married and live a while as husband and wife before a third is ever brought in for both of us.

As for me looking for a female, since it's separate from Master, I see no problem having a relationship now.

In a basic sense, I'm fine with sharing Master. It's the spending more time with them, caring about them more type of anxiety, that throws me off.

That's just something I'll have to slowly learn to let go off. :-)

Back to Pokemon!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Question and Answers

Master got a journal. i need help thinking of ideas for topics for him to write about. What questions may be good for him to answer and talk about in his new blog?

http://alphachronicles1013.blogspot.com

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Boring times..

Nothing major has happened with Master and me, so I haven't had anything to write about.

Master and I spent the last three days together being lazy - watching Pokemon, lounging around. Easy peasy!

I want to write up a list of 'topics' for Master to write about tomorrow after work. I will probably clean tomorrow, though so..

We shall see. :)

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Apologies; LIN Munch

I apologies for being so ...I don't know the word, but whatever it was last post. Now, back to my life!

There is a group on Fetlife called Littles in Iowa and Nebraska. Master knows about my little side, which is the side that really wants friends, and said it was alright to drive the 3-4 hours to go to Omaha on February 26th. We can only stay for about 3-4 hours, even though we'll be driving a total of, like 8 hours, cause of work and such.

I am really really excited. I'm hoping I don't have to work the 26th, or at least have an 8-1 or shift so Master and I can actually go! If I do work, I can always trade with someone :) That's what I did next weekend.

I Don't Understand.

I got this just now from a person I have met once, and who is a respected member of the 'community' in the area.

seems to me... that there are strong, unnecessary, disrepectful terms used by the younger set these days.. and if you must write in such derogatory manners... i have to wonder WHAT the point is.. RESPECT is the foundation of the BDSM lifestyle.. BDSM and kink are 2 totally different aspects in my world and should not even be compared to the world outside the REALM that I choose as LIFESTYLE.. I might suggest that before going into an editorial which is so demeaning to oneself, the lifestyle and the lifestyles others choose,, one might think of the main point to come across....
Thank you lights, for proving my point on how disrespectful and self centered most of the younger generation truly is.. you start the disrespect with the FU to a well like and respected Dominant and then your young friends run to your defense.. If you want attention and acknowledgement, why not do it in a positive manner?
In the tradition of Old Guard and the BDSM Lifestyle... you have alot of learning to do... you are a relflection of your top... and right now, he's not looking so Dominant in my eyes.... You are out of control..
If I had posted and responded in the manner that you did, my Master would have taken me down more than a notch or two... You need to open your mine and clear your head.... being a submissive ( you are not at slave mentality yet) you need to take some lessons... for a slave or sub does not say what she wants to when she wants to...for she is truly disrespecting the one who owns her when she spouts off. Hellion should be taking steps to calm your disrespectful and wayward spirit...
Attention is best got when gotten in a positive way... remember that attention is not respect.. Attention is short lived ... the bonds of RESPECT stay with a person long after they have left this world...
I do not wish a defensive, disrespectful reply from you.. If anything is to be discussed, I will discuss with Hellion... and only him for you are not in a position to respond

I've done nothing wrong. I don't understand this - I have never gotten any flack about anything I've done (majorly) before coming here.