Monday, March 19, 2012

Second Thoughts

Edited To Add:
Thanks to certain friends, my focus is back to the path I need. I agreed to our relationship, to being his slave, and I know, for a fact, that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me.

This does not mean that my mind get unfocused, I don't have worries, or anxieties, or that I forget about my place as a slave

This is just my thoughts, nothing else. Master and I will discuss it, and things will be just fine

I'm having second thoughts about having a second. Having a girlfriend, sure, that's okay, but sharing with Master, or having Master have a 'girlfriend'? I'm feeling uncomfortable about it.

[probably some simple anxiety issues right now]

I see that he has been chatting to a slave on here, but he has made no mention of it to me. We are open about everything, and I'm really hurt that he has made no mention.

I mean, it's not like he has offered a place, but he has told her about what we are searching, and that he is sort of interested.

Again, I thought he would have told me if he was interested in someone - I mean we agree to be open and honest about everything, and since we are getting married, it's more than just someone he plays with, to us.

I already told him, all of this, but he is at work and can't answer his messages until he gets off in an hour and a half or so.

I just wanted to type it out and have people read it. Cause I like the replies and thoughts from other people, because mine is really just unfounded anxiety about him finding someone better suited for him than me.

Which could happen, I never say no to anything like that, but I still want to be the best for him.

Ya know?


  1. Finding a second was something my Master and I talked about once, a while back...I had the same anxieties, though, which is why we ended up saying "no" to the whole thing..

    We've promised to come back to it eventually, if it's ever something I feel okay with...but, for now, we had to take it off the table...

    Maybe you should stop searching, at least for right now, until you get all your feelings straightened out?

  2. I think that most of us have these anxieties. Just part of being human in my opinion.
    Though, they are difficult to deal with.