Friday, April 13, 2012

Apologies accepted, personal feelings? Guilt still there.

I was whiny, and upset over something Master said. He was trying to help, and if I had replied in a better way, he would have known right away that it wouldn't. He told me to take a shower to clear my thoughts - I did, and thought up of a (hopefully) good way to apologize.

Then, I couldn't do it. I had to write an email.
I come out in my towels, my hair up and still wet, then sit on the floor, laying my head on your thigh. "I'm sorry, Master, for getting upset when you were only trying to help. I'm sorry for not doing as you told me to. What can I do to make it up to you?"
It's simple, yet I couldn't get it past my lips.

Master accepted it as a communication tool, and complimented me on me trying to tell him through whatever means. He also said that he will try to find ways to help me instead of just waiting for me to come talk to him.

I feel better now, but I said and did things that weren't nice, or what he expects from his slave. I apologized the best I could but I still want to be able to speak to him.

1 comment:

  1. Don't know if this would help, but I used to write Monster notes or I would write it out in my journal. It took a while to get to the point where I could just blurt things out. The written communications really helped me out in the beginning. And yay for you in using any way you were able to, to communicate with him, instead of keeping it bottled up. I think that's a step in the right direction. :)