Saturday, April 7, 2012

Depressions and Train of thoughts

Master and I are trying to figure this out, and it's hard. Our minds work so much different. I am very literal. I answer exactly what you asked for.

My response to 'What did you do today?'
We went to see Master's brother wrestle in a tournament. His sister was there, so we chatted with her. Saw his dad, because he was coaching Master's brother. Had some food there, but got tired, so we came home. I took a nap while Master was online. Now I'm awake, and not sure what to do other than play online.
Master's response to "What did you do today?"
Saw my brother wrestle.

See the difference?

The issue came when I saw that he was chatting to a woman (who has had an interest, a bit, of playing with me, but she is older than I am comfortable with), and I asked to see more of the conversation.

He said they talked about some guys she were seeing, about the old group we were in, and that we can't find a third, and probably have stopped looking.

A normal person would be fine with that. I am not. I asked if he could tell me what she said exactly, or to show me

He can't comprehend doing it, and I can't comprehend not doing it.

Our view on transparency is very different. If asked, I think people should answer, because that means they have nothing to hide. He, on the other hand, thinks that I should just take what he says, and live with it.

It's not really about me trusting him, it's about my brain getting what it needs to get fulfilled with an honest, complete answer.

We are working and communicating about it, and have before, as I'm sure readers know. Bah.


  1. As my mother used to say: ‘What you see is what you get’. You cannot change the other you can only find ways to give each other enough space to be who they are and coexist. And that takes an eternity… it can be fighting or an amusing and loving discussion. But doing that is called love. And within years, irritations about the same thing will come back again and again. Love is not about the irritations; it is how we make up afterwards. That is the cement that holds the house together.


    1. Thank you, ara, that is really nice. I need to remember that - Master and I have way more good than bad times - which usually end up during my period. <3

  2. Well, I suddenly felt like my mother writing that but with the years it became apparant she was right. And that period thing, oh my... me and pms, gets me always in trouble.
    The two of you are lovely.