Friday, May 4, 2012

Another Silly Panic Attack

I'm on my period (well, about to start), so I think is a huge part of it.

Master went to the movie 'The Avengers' last night. Today I got upset that Master didn't tell me how it went. Usually, if he's excited about something, he starts rambling and I have to tell him to stop repeating himself. I got upset because he wasn't his usual self.

I didn't even stop to think that it was late, and he had to go up to the tire place early in the morning. I apologized after I had calmed down, but Master and I did have a talk.

We've come to some conclusion through our talking.

I have a 'scared little girl' part of my mind, that comes out when something new pops into my life. I haven't been 'strong' enough to keep it at bay, and she takes over my head.

Master said I need to fight her, then we decided that 'fight' wasn't the right word.

What I need to do is convince that 'little girl' that she is an adult now, she has me, she has Master, and she has new friends we are making that will protect her from bad things. She is not alone.

I don't want to take that 'little girl' part away from me. I want her to become a part of me.

This is a good thing. I'm glad Master and I talked, and I apologized. He says he understands how hard it is for me, but he won't let me keep doign things when I can do something to change it.

Whew.

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