Tuesday, June 5, 2012

I suck at this.

First off, Master wrote a tiny entry in his blog. I honestly wish he was the type of person to elaborate more, to just talk without thinking. He isn't. He thinks things through. He walks on the sidewalks even when it's easier to walk through an empty parking lot.

(Which is a fight we got into - I think I'm only allowed to walk on sidewalks now... and I'm only half joking!)

I suck at being a slave. I hate it. I know I can do it. I forget that the world doesn't go around me. I forget that I function better when I just trust and do as he says. I forget that I made a promise to Master for him to be my master.

This is enough punishment. I want to be better. I want to!

I feel like I am not getting the same amount as I am giving in our relationship, but that has nothing to do with M/s. That's a discussion for our general relationship.

I need to sit at his feet, not on the couch, tonight. I need to be below him mentally and physically.

I need him to be above me! Not equal, above. In intellect, emotions, and physically. Be above me! Please. I need it.

I wrote this the other day. It is coming into play now:
 
Don't be nice.
Make me.
Don't be polite.
Make me.
I'm scared.
Make me.
It's fun.
Make me.
I say no!
You say yes!
Make me.
Oh, please, just make me!

4 comments:

  1. Interesting poem. And I believe that the poem is something that really speaks to your Master (sorry Hellion if I'm stepping on your shoes. that isn't my intention). I hope things go well for you in the future.

    Kitten's Master

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  2. Good poem, Lights. I like it a lot. It says what I haven't been able to put into words! Thanks for posting it!! :)

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  3. Love the sentiment of this poem.

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