Friday, June 1, 2012

Marriage. Who, this is new!

I had bad role models when it came to relationships growing up. I don't like to blame it all on the 'adults' that I had, though. There were a few loving couples (grandparents, a certain aunt and uncle) that have lasted, and are still together!

Anyway, it's weird to think of myself as getting married. I find it weird to see a couple together more than 5 years. I see it so weird to see couples with grown children, still together.

I think it's just my mind saying "This isn't what I saw before!".  Anyway.

Commitment. How do I know that Master and I will be together in 5 years? How will I know that he won't leave me? How will I know that I won't leave him?

The hardest answer to accept is really the best answer, I finally found.

*I don't know.*

There is no way to know if we will be together forever. What I do know? There will be happy days, sad days, and days where we just want to give up.

All that matters is that we keep that as a goal, a reason to work through our future problems. A reason to keep going when things are great.

I am honestly still freaked out about 'settling down', but I have gotten to a point where I am *okay* with it. I understand the reasoning why I am scared, and I am ready to face it.

Just as I am ready to face my past, forgive myself and others, I am ready to face the future.

In two weeks I'll be a wife. I'll have a brothers-in-law, I'll have a sister-in-law. I'll have parents-in-laws! Crazy to think of, but... so much more people coming into my life.


Okay, I'm done with my little... writing :)


  1. I think you answered it well. You can't know. You just keep going and continue to work on your relationship. Don't let the unknowns get in the way of living.

    Congrats on the future marriage and future in-laws. I wish you two the very best. :)

  2. I normally just lurk in the shadows of your blog, but I wanted to say congrats. It is wonderful to find someone in your life that fits! It seems to me you have a very realistic view on your relationship and you seem happy:) best of luck on your soon coming wedding.

  3. Leaps of faith - they never stop, but that is how relationships keep growing. The time leading up to a wedding is a little wonky in wondering. But after it is done, you just get up and go do. At least we did.

    And I am so glad we did. (8 years now.)

  4. Best advice i can give...don't ever go to bed angry with each other or without telling each other "i love you" it's worked for us and we're at 27 years :)

  5. I don't mean to come across as rude, I'm just curious, I know you two haven't been together long, so why the rush into marriage? If you love each other, you are going to be together no matter what, you don't need a marriage for that.

    Ive been with my slave for over three years now, and we love each other. We know we are in it for the long haul. We have been through a lot together and we know each other completely. Something like that isn't possible in a year, let alone just a few months.

    Maybe you should hold off on the wedding, its a lot less complicated that way

    1. You make a good point :) I will make a post to answer your question!