Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Dependence. Littles. Master

I haven't been here on fetlife physically. I also haven't been into 'fetlife' type of stuff mentally. Since Master has been gone, it's felt... off. Like, pieces of me weren't there. Um, it's hard to explain. I am still his slave, still think the same way, but I know I have drawn more inside myself since he has been gone.

(Man, it's only two weeks, hopefully it doesn't turn into longer sometime!)

I tell people 'my little has taken over', and that is only part of it. I cling. I'm a clinger. I depend. I'm a depender (okay not a word, but you get it). I depend on his mere presence to put me at ease.
Weird. I never though it would be like that.

Yes, my little has been out the whole time. I haven't been that sexual, really. I've been having a hard time focusing and making it through work. All I've wanted to do was go home and play with my toys (computer and music are my toys).

I haven't been able to do anything but play with my toys. I've cleaned up when it's needed, but it's only until I can't do what I need to do (make dinner cause the dishes are ALL dirty), that I notice it.
I feel guilty about dependance. As an adult, having someone be there just to make me feel the need to do simple chores, simple things that all adults do.

Is this what makes me a little? I think it could be part of it. And, I do love my toys.

I haven't forgotten about my friends here, but I have forgotten 'the outside world". If that even makes sense.
I'll be back soon, I promise :)

1 comment:

  1. Honey, you need to focus on keeping your house in order, little or not....it is your job as a slave!