I've neglected this blog because I don't feel like I am in a M/s relationship anymore. He doesn't seem to be the one in charge, and I seem to be doing my own thing, instead of things for him.
I don't know if I consider that M/s, so it's been hard to keep this blog updated.
There was one evening we tried to do a scene. His instructions were to be in my black lace thong and high heels, kneeling on the floor in front of the couch. I was also to find the rope, flogger, and lay them by the couch. I was kind of nervous because he didn't tell me anything else, but was also excited cause I haven't had a scene in ages. Months, maybe!
I was kneeling as he said when he got home. He tied the rope to the loop in the collar, kissing me, and running his hands over me. He didn't use the flogger. He pulled me to the bedroom, kissing me, and used his hands, then mouth on me. He flipped me over, and his cock was inside me. He spanked me a little, but not enough to leave a mark.
We both finished, but I felt so unsatisfied it wasn't funny. I wanted to use the flogger, the rope, more foreplay. I felt like crying after it. I told Master this, as I am trying to keep my feelings open for him to know. It helps to know how the other is feeling right?
It wasn't great at all. Sex was fine, but I don't like fine.
After that, we haven't done much. We've had sex since then, better, because he spanked so hard I was flinching it hurt, but I wouldn't mind more flogger time, more foreplay time, more living room playtime. I mean, we have the apartment to ourselves, why not use it?
I've been starting to write a book on living with mental health issues - so I've been trying to focus on that and get through work without falling on my face with depression or manic episodes. That makes my mind busy.
<3 thanks so much for the 40,000+ views, and not sure who is looking at me all the time on here, but there ya go :)