I feel like I am 'regressing' in relations to sex. I'm shy, I can't imitate anything, and I am too shy to even SAY I want to have sex, I want him to love me AND hurt me, I want him to do it all. I've told him I want more foreplay, but that's it. I'm just.. I need him to do it, I can't initiate, and it's making me cry right now thinking about it. I want sex, but I don't want to initiate it.
I want him to pay attention to touch and taste. I want him to touch me everywhere, not just for a few seconds, but a long amount of minutes; I want him to kiss me slowly, softly, and less tongue and wetness. I want him to slowly move his hands over my body, savoring the shapes. I want him to gently nip me on my skin while doing this, and do it slowly. No biting, just light nips. I want him to make me blush because it feels good but I am a bit weary about my body, but he shows me that I'm beautiful.
That's the kind of sex I want. Not a few moments of kissing, then me sucking his dick, then sex. I want more, damnit! I haven't had this in a long time. It's making me irritable.
I don't think this as a demand. I just want to be loved, not be 'sexed'.
Maybe after one of these times, I'll be ready for 'sexed'.
This is mostly for him to see, cause, again, I am finding it hard to be verbal.